Suicidal Tendencies
by Marawr
Summary: We exist, only to... //pointless oneshot//


Just another pointless oneshot.

Suicidal Tendencies

"_We exist..." _

The car door slammed shut as the redhead closed it for his mother, his father already starting up the engine.

"We'll be back tomorrow, be good," his mother said sharply. He just blinked unconcernedly at her before turning on his heel and heading indoors out of the cold. They honked the horn as they left and he looked over his shoulder to aknowledge it before slamming the front door angrily. He all but ran up to his room, and despite his all to obvious anger and confusion his steps were still light and careful.

Once in his room he shrugged off his jacket and let it lie on the ground next to his bed, which he fell down onto next. He laid back and drifted his hand up to his forehead. Shutting his eyes tightly as self pity and sorrow washed over him. When he opened his eyes they seemed even more inhumanly empty, they flicked their vision to his bedside table. Among the rubbish sat, sharpened in all it's glory, a knife. He let his eyes drift back up towards the ceiling before flickering inevitably back onto the sharpened object. The creater of pain, or the painkiller? He pondered this for a moment before choosing the latter.

Axel reached out for it but at almost the exact time his arm extended the mobile in his pocket started ringing. If it was Roxas Axel would shoot him personally. The redheads body froze before letting his hand the freedom of movement. It trailed through the air to his pocket and pulled out the mobile. Pull out the guns. The screen on the front flashed and the ring tone got louder the longer he left it ringing. He flipped it on, set it on speaker and placed it next to his heavily pierced ear on the pillow.

"Hello?" he sighed.

"Hey Axel, s' me, what you doing?"

"Nothing, why are you calling?" Axel asked, tilting his head away from the phone a bit to look on his desk once more.

"Can't hear you," Roxas called in a sing song voice.

Axel sighed once more and rolled away from the desk to face the phone, resting his head on his arm in boredom.

"What do you want?" his voice was harsher than intended but Roxas didn't seem to notice and just went on talking.

"I just got back from the movie with Naminé, we missed you--"

Axel inhaled a heavy breath and let it out as he spoke, "No you didn't, Roxas,"

Roxas sounded as though he was about to retort so Axel cut him off. "Do you need something?" he asked, switching the phone off speaker and balancing it between his shoulder and his ear, he sat up and swung his legs off the side of the bed, sitting there intently.

"...What's wrong?" Roxas murmured, concern lacing his small voice. Axel heard him biting softly at his lip-ring, like he always did when he was nervous or worried.

"You gonna ruin your teeth if you keep doing that," the redhead pointed out, choosing to avoid the blonde's question.

"**You **made me get it," Roxas bit back, knowing what Axel had been talking about immediately. It wasn't the first time he'd been told off.

"I wasn't exactly thinking straight, y'know? Neither were you if I remember correctly..." He trailed off, in truth Axel had been the one to introduce Roxas to drugs. Not that he felt guilty, he could usually get the blonde to do stuff with him when they were stoned. The redhead inhaled a sharp breath, sending a stabbing pain through his chest, he adjusted slightly, the pain increasing.

"_Motherfucker," _he murmured, clutching his chest. He took his hand away from his chest and reached out for his '_painkiller'. _He stopped however when the blonde emitted a low chuckle, god Axel had missed that laugh.

"Yeah, you fucked me up real bad,"

"Both meanings of _fucked_," Axel reminded him. "Guess it doesn't matter any more does it?" He murmured the second part, his hands moving from the knife to a cigarette, he picked it up loftily between his middle finger and fore-finger before transferring it to his chapped lips.

"Axel, what's wrong?" asked the boy again.

"Nuffin'" Axel groaned, trying to make his lighter work several times before it finally let him light up.

"Axel," said Roxas in his attempt of a commanding voice. Axel didn't waver however and just slumped back onto his bed, lying down again, letting the smoke glide from his lips evenly.

"Why do you still call me?" Axel asked, his voice a little muffled from trying to make sure the cigarette between his lips didn't fall. A small amount of ash fell from the tip and stung his lip piercing, identical to Roxas' of course; they _are best_ friends after all, right?

"Because I still, I still--" he paused, thinking hard. Axel swore he could sense the apocalypse. "Because I can,"

"Wrong answer," said Axel, blankly.

"You're my best friend Axel,"

"Mmph, _we were more," T_he second half mumbled. He knew Roxas heard him though because the boys' breath hitched a little. Axel waited almost half a minute waiting for a reply, the silence thick, suffocating. "But then Naminé, pretty, _beautiful, _kind, innocent little Naminé," His voice was bitter.

Still no responce from the younger boy.

"She was innocent wasn't she? Like really," Axel laughed in annoyance. "I remember the first time you lit her up, she almost died choking, good times, right? Too bad I got ditched as soon as she came into our little group,"

"Axel, stop," his voice demanded, a minute and that was all he could say?

"I missed you so much," the older boy choked out. He put his smoke in his hand again and flicked off the excess ash onto the floor. He didn't take it back up to his lips though, they were to busy spilling everything he didn't want to say. Everything he had no intention of telling the other. "Every time, _**Every**_ time I saw you two together I broke a little bit more and well you can imagine how much is still attached. Not like I've seen you without her since she moved here. I wanted you so much it hurt,"

"Stop," Roxas' voice wasn't demanding anymore, he sounded almost as though he was begging.

"You remember one of those first nights? I don't know if you thought I was asleep or you just liked hurting me, 'cause I heard it all,"

"Axel, _please _stop" the other murmured, he _was _begging now. It didn't stop the redhead though, he barely noticed the other speaking, and he just let out a manic laugh. Not so much out of amusement as apposed to pain.

"I-I heard it **all, **more than once... and it hurt, an-and I **loved **you," he paused. "I still do," Axel was fumbling to find the words, and when they finally came he fell silent. Axel breathed heavily to control himself as he waited for the other to speak.

"I love you too," he said without hesitation. "_But I shouldn't, I __**can't**_," Roxas whispered the last part before hanging up the phone, the dial tone ringing throughout the pyromaniacs head. He hung up to and threw the phone onto the bedside table next to the sharpened object. He began to laugh and laugh and laugh, but he didn't realize he was, it was all subconscious. He stopped abruptly and stared at the desktop, eyes locked on two items. He waited a few moments for Roxas to call back.

And he didn't for another ten minutes, but by the time he did, it was too late.

"_**W**__e exist on this world only to bring sorrow to those close to us."_

_**PLEASE REVIEW**_


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